Being a good speaker is rooted in your communication skills. While we may think we have it mastered, nerves can come into play at the most inopportune moments. If the nerves hit you or you struggle with a lack of confidence, try focusing on these three things to get you back on track.

When communicating, you want to aim to make people feel:

• Valued

You can’t build a rapport with a person if you are constantly talking about yourself. While highlighting your attributes and achievements may help make you feel important, it fails to make the other person feel valued.

Instead of talking about yourself, do the opposite. Focus your attention on the other person – ask questions and really listen to the answers. At the end of the conversation, refer back to something they mentioned. This shows that you were paying attention and interested in what they were saying.

• Relevant

If you want people to listen, you must give them a reason to pay attention. Much like starting a speech, you can use these four tactics to start a conversation.

First, you can tell them the benefit – that is, what they will gain from this (ex. This will get you more customers).

Second, you can ask a question that will make them think (ex. Would you like to get more customers?).

Third, you can shock them with a call to action (ex. If we don’t get more customers, we are out of business).

Lastly, you can tell a story to engage the audience. Stories work best when you’re trying to illustrate an example and are far better than a hard sell.

By compelling your audience in the beginning, it is likely that you will have their attention all the way through to the end.

• Human

Colleague or client, we should speak to everyone in the same manner. After all, we are all human and should be treated that way. But how can we go about this?

Start by using casual, non-formal words. This portrays authenticity and is helpful when we are under pressure at work. Using our normal language may help us relax more.

Another way is to use our natural voice. To find your natural, authentic voice, try this: sit straight and upright in your chair. Put your hands together in prayer position, making sure your forearms are parallel to the ground. Gently relax and breathe in. Now push your hands together as hard as you can, and as you push, squeeze the air from your lungs out through your mouth. This will release tension in your upper chest and engage your diaphragm triangle as you push air out. Now try speaking and you will find that your voice is more relaxed. By using your natural voice, you may notice that people will believe what you are saying.

By focusing on these ways to converse, we can regain our confidence and refine our communication skills. If you have any tips to share or anything else to add, connect with us on Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

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Tags: Communicate better, communication, communication practices, Communication Techniques, communication tips, effective communication